The Masked Assailant Strikes Again: This time it is going to Trial

Just as I was recovering from the last onslaught, Wes (who has recently filled Brett Favre’s shoes and unretired) sent another fantastic trade package.  So while Wes’s blog Jay Baker Fan’s Junk, remained dormant, the Masked Assailant was keeping busy.  So I am taking him to small claim’s court!

If it pleases the court, I would like present the evidence.

Exhibit A:


A couple of “junk wax era” Ted Simmons cards.  An overlooked player, who never got the respect that he deserved, Simmons was only on the Hall of Fame ballot for one year.  What exactly is the Masked man trying to tell me?  Do I only have one year in the blogosphere?

Exhibit B:

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Bob Boone and Jose Morales, two players that were drastically different.  Boone was as consistent a catcher as ever played, while Morales was better known for his ability to pinch-hit.  Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, look at the logo the Morales card: two positions are listed, catcher and 1st base.  Is this some subconscious cry for help?  Is this the Masked Assailant letting us know that he is really one half of a whole?

Exhibit C:


If it pleases the court, I would like to draw your attention to this 1987 Topps Coin of Gary Carter.  That’s right, a coin.  I should not have to point out to you this is a blatant attempt at bribery.  This Masked Assailant is trying to buy my silence, but it won’t work.  The world must know about this man.

Exhibit D:

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Two, count them, two, relics of modern catching prospects.  They are clean, neat, and crisp in their design.  But don’t be fooled.  Pay attention to what is actually being sent: clothes, little scraps of clothes.  Is this a threat that if I don’t cooperate, the Masked Assailant will do to my clothes what was done to the clothes of these young men?

Exhibit F:
mhJXhBQJ7L5pt4Easoo6xfQ m8ZmNLl6V_6eHjVDbE8h82Q

Finally, here are two statues (MLB Sportsclix of Victor Martinez and Ivan Rodriguez) that seem harmless.  But look at the body language of these two figures; they are definitely threatening.  Martinez looks like he is all puffed up, wanting to fight, and Pudge is bent over getting ready to throw a baseball, or maybe a brick through a window if I don’t cooperate?

Wes, you are too generous.  Thanks for sending these great items.

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